Tuesday, March 2, 2010

CRIMES OF SPANDEX: JERSEYS OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE

I would like to start off this post by saying I was sitting at my desk at work today in a dress and I looked down and was startled because I thought that there was some kind of tumor growing on my thigh. After a moment I realized: it is a muscle. Amazing. I am not sure what to make of that.
Anyway, onto more important topics such as "themed" jerseys. Now, as you might have surmised, cycling is not the most fashionable of sports. The majority of cyclists rock jerseys that are logo'd within an inch of their life. In fact, for the first time in my life I actually feel a little less cool for not wearing something with big obnoxious logos all over it. Needless to say, none of these jerseys are "cute." But I feel that some people are crossing the line from serious sponsorship graphics into just foolishness. I get that people have interests and personalities. I do not, however, get why they have to announce those interests to everyone on the road via spandex apparel. I assume they think they look sassy and like individuals. They do not. They look rediculous. Sorry.

THE DARK SIDE OF SPANDEX
Chris, don't kill me. I understand that Star Wars is a vital and important part of our culture. It's not that I don't appreciate that. It's just that if I saw a guy wearing this jersey stranded with a flat tire on the side of the road would not stop to help him in fear of him kidnapping me and holding me against my will while making me wear a Princess Leah outfit in his mom's basement.
THE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN
Now, I have no interest in making this some anti-patriot rant about not loving America, but come now. This jersey really has it all: racing stripes, airbrush, and a symbol of the USA that looks like its about to rip your face off. Touché, jersey, touché.

THE (EVIL) DRUNK LOBSTER
If you know me, you know why I have a particular hatred for this garment. WHY would anyone want a cockroach of the sea across their chest, much less one that seems to be making out with a bottle of beer??? I can't even....
-Caitlin

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